This is a recipe to make the absolute best blueberry pie that you will ever taste. I have always been a blueberry pie fan. It has that almost-too-sweet texture that you want in a pie, but not too sugary sweet. The crust is buttery, has a slight crunch, and is equally delicious by itself as it is with any topping.
Blueberry Pie (Baked DC) |
This is by far the most boring Apocalypse. Not a swarm of self-replicating nanobots. No super hurricanes. Not a single kaiju or radioactive octopus! I was ready for some quick zombie carnage and ultra violence. Instead, we watch thumb-twiddling as our pay slips out of our hands, but we needn’t worry, because a lump-sum bonus of $1,200 awaits us in May? Hooray for the company! We are honored to give our lives for the glory of the God of the bull market. May it rain a thousand times on your personal wallets, O titans of industry, and dare I say, on our hearts? Anyway, here’s a full-color review of Blueberry Pie from one of my favorite I71 delivery and takeout brands, Baked DC. LET’S GO TO THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA-SEDE!
Baked DC’s website is very simple. If you want to make an appointment, you can send a text message (202-230-2463). You can view the daily menu online. The pickup location is conveniently located in the Dupont Circle/Downtown area. Delivery is possible, but only for the members you are entitled to after your first appointment. If you want, you can get a free marijuana gift with a $50 minimum purchase – a modest entry point when you consider other I71 gift brands, especially given their consistent quality colors. Speaking of which. 
Baked DC’s blueberry pie flowers are just gorgeous. These perfectly groomed buds are rich, lush green, covered in trichomes and contrasted by dark orange hairs. The tips have the perfect density for Boyz II Men – not too hard, not too soft – yet are flexible. The aroma is subtle and sweet, reminiscent of the candy of the same name. A pinch of sugar, a spoonful of berries, a sprig of spring flowers, and we have a feast, or a feast, perhaps even a party, if I may say so. The smoke itself is sweet, lightly scented and almost cough-free, so as not to alert Big Brother who is watching you via your smart TV that your organs have been corroded by the Crown and your meat bag is no longer worthy of the state. Baked DC has included this flower as a hybrid at the Top Shelf level. I would agree with this classification, but in my tests it definitely leans towards indica. The potency of this blueberry pie is certainly reasonable, I would assume a low 20% THC, and a little scary. I feel like I could smoke more after the small bowl, but I didn’t get very far after the double portion before I had to eat and lay down for a few minutes. 
Although I couldn’t detect any citrus in the flavor, the effect is reminiscent of varieties with a high limonine content. My thoughts fade and the world seems brighter, the colors brighter, and the music livelier, juicier, like in this robotaki. You’re welcome to join us. It’s not so hard that you can’t work, maybe with a little caffeine, but if you have to work from home, you’re doing it wrong, because blueberry pie always brings me back to the couch to browse Pokemon Sword until I get my hands on the ultra rare Shiny Dreepy. Sure, I could use that time to read or learn to play bass guitar, for example, but I’m not going to let this virus change my behavior, or the terrorists will win. Visit Baked DC’s website or call 202-230-2463 to schedule an appointment to receive nitrile gloves for quality flowers and edible gifts! Stay safe, everyone.
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